Educational toy that cost $25:
So what?

Another educational toy that cost $15:
Who cares?

Yet another educational toy that cost $14:
Are you kidding me?

“Star Wars” toy that cost $20:
Great. Thanks. But I wanted BOBA Fettt. Not JANGO Fett.

Batman: The Dark Knight Rapid Fire Utility Belt that was begged for repeatedly for 3 solid weeks until mommy finally cracked and bought it for $22 lousy bucks against her better judgment because mommy KNOWS it’s really a dangerous piece of plastic crap but for the love of God, she has to give in to the holiday spirit at least once a year, right? I mean, Gawd. She’s not made of stone, people:
Thaaannnkkk yoooouuuu….but I don’t like Batman anymore.

New outfit from The Gap:
Clothes? For CHRISTMAS? Am I being PUNISHED?

Shiny, new Razor scooter that daddy proudly brought home after triumphing in a near-fistfight with a roving pack of bargain-hunting rednecks on Black Friday:
Oh. A scooter? Yawn.

But–

Four dollar novelty-store mustache kit that turns you into a 5 year-old Riverboat Gambler named Diamond Jim:

Awwww, yeah.

Wendi Aarons